Resolutions 101

January 1, 2011

It’s resolution time. Time to get in shape, inside and out.  The stop smoking and weight loss commercials are running double time on prime time.  The gurus are out in force.  Time to pull yourself together. 

I’ve never really set New Year’s resolutions.  I might have a bit of a stubborn streak.  (Queue the sarcasm from my husband.  “A bit?” he asks.)  Okay, maybe a big stubborn streak.  I don’t like people telling me that this is the time of year to shape up. 

I’ll fix myself when I’m darn good and ready, thank you very much.  Take that, vegetables.  I’ll eat more of you when the mood strikes me.  Somebody has to support the chocolate industry while everyone else is cutting back on sweets.

But this year, I’ve decided maybe now is a good time to do a little inventory.  Not because everyone else is!  Just because it happens to be a good time…  Really, it’s just a coincidence.

Me being me, I can’t just jot down a list of goals.  I had to do some research.  From everything I can tell, there is a right and wrong way to write a resolution. 

First, you must be realistic.  You won’t keep at it if you’ve set unattainable goals.  Scratch “save the world” from my 2011 to-do list.

Next, you must be specific.  So far I’m not doing so well.  Cross off “be nice.”

I need to break down my goals into smaller ones.  Add “donate 10% more per month to charity,” and “call a far away friend at least once a month.” 

Now I need to find an alternative to a habit I want to break.  Instead of “worry less,” I need to resolve to talk more about my feelings and let others help me rather than try to do everything myself.  Wow.  That will be a tough one.  Maybe I should add “see a therapist” to my list. 

Most important, experts recommend setting goals that are personally meaningful rather than trying to make others happy.  The theory is that once you’ve attained happiness for yourself, you will make others happy by default.  This is a challenge.  People pleasing is what I do best.

Taking all this into consideration, in 2011 I will work towards being authentically me, and to allow those I love to do the same.  I will trust myself more.  I will listen harder for God’s voice in my heart, where conscience and intuition whisper.    

I will laugh at least ten times per day, even if it is through tears.

I will allow more room in my life for me – lunches with girlfriends, time to read and write.  I will cook at least one grown-up meal per week that caters to my own tastes rather than my son’s. 

I will hold my husband’s hand at least once per day; my son’s hand as many times as he allows.

I will be fearlessly, joyfully, wildly in love with my life. I will live each day with gratitude, and never, ever forget how deeply I’ve been blessed.

This article first appeared in the Lewistown News-Argus and the Sidney (Mont.) Herald on January 1, 2011.