Big grandpa

June 14, 2014

My older son was my grandpa’s first great-grandchild.  And so it was fitting that he be named after him.

My grandpa actually has lots of kids named after him.  My brother and at least two of my cousins have his name as their middle name.

Since no one had yet shared grandpa’s moniker as his first name, I hadn’t anticipated the confusion it would cause my son.

When he was learning to talk he would become distressed when we called Grandpa by the same name. 

He’d stomp his foot in protest and declare, “No! Me!”

Translation: “No, that’s my name!”

We started calling them ‘Big’ and ‘Little,’ which morphed in my son’s toddler mind into ‘Big Grandpa.’ The nickname stuck.

For a while I think my son actually thought Big Grandpa was the older version of himself.

When he was three he said, “Mom! I already know what I’m going to look like when I grow up – Big Grandpa! He’s me, only older!”

I told him there was no one better to aspire to be like.

Grandpa likes being called ‘Big Grandpa’ because it’s the first time in his entire life he’s ever been called ‘big.’

What my grandpa lacks in physical size, he makes up for in personality.

He is a soft-spoken man, but he is far from meek.  You never have to guess where you stand with him or what he’s thinking.

Grandpa is one of those people with the rare gift of making everyone around him feel at ease. 

He is kind in the root, core sense of the word.  I have never heard him say a bad word about anyone.

I’ve seen him angry only a few times, and it was entirely justified.  I had that anger turned on me once, and I’ll never forget it.

But even when angry, he is calm, measured, and fair.

I don’t remember my grandpa saying “I love you” much when I was young.  Maybe he did and I just wasn’t paying attention.

Oh, to go back in time and appreciate all of life’s gifts I took for granted as a child and young adult.

As Big Grandpa’s gotten older, he says “I love you” freely, in a way I’ve seen no other man express it.

I think men are afraid that saying “I love you” is a sign of weakness.  I wish every man who felt that way could hear my grandpa say it. 

If they did, they’d realize that there is nothing more courageous than saying how you really feel while you have the chance.

Big Grandpa has a smile that comes from somewhere deep down. 

When he feels joy, it bubbles up from the inside and spills out onto his face in such a way that those around him can’t help but feel better just for having stood nearby.

It will only be a few years from now when grandpa’s namesake will outgrow him.  But no matter how tall my son grows, he’ll always look up to his Big Grandpa. Big Grandpa may not be the largest person you’ll ever meet, but he most certainly is big, in all the ways that matter most.

This article first appeared in the Lewistown News-Argus and the Sidney (Mont.) Herald on June 14, 2014.