Fight, fight, fight!

July 12, 2014

The endless debate online and off between stay-at-home and working mothers just baffles me. 

It feels like a crowd gathers around two women and everyone starts chanting “Fight! Fight! Fight!” as though we’re on a grade school playground.

I don’t think it is anyone else’s business what one mother does or doesn’t do.  Can’t we just assume we’re all doing the best we can in the best way we know how, and leave it at that?

I read an article recently that debated whether daycare should be called “school” or not.

It was written from the perspective of a working mom who sends her kids to “school,” or daycare, whatever you want to call it. 

She was irritated with a former stay-at-home mom who expressed contempt that a daycare she’d recently began working for called itself a “school.”

The stay-at-home mom drew a distinct difference between daycare and actual school, and she was offended that the daycare would suggest it was an institution of learning. 

She was also stunned that children actually went to daycare All. Day. Long. – meaning eight o’clock a.m. to five p.m.

My first thought was that if this woman disagrees so profoundly with her employer’s values then perhaps she shouldn’t be working there.

Everyone gets irritated with their job now and then.  But if you fundamentally disagree with your employer’s mission, then maybe it’s time to find a different job.

My second thought was that this lady needed to get out more.  Isn’t it common sense that if both parents are working full time, the child must be in someone else’s care All. Day. Long?

If she didn’t realize this until all her children were grown and she went to work at a daycare, then she must not have had many interactions with the outside world.     

I feel very blessed that my children have thus far never gone to daycare All. Day. Long.

But I know that if they had to, the wonderful caregivers that my children have had are perfectly equipped to take good care of them.

I’m not sure why this lady was so offended that the daycare called itself “school.” 

We called my older son’s daycare a school.  In fact, I think I’d be wary of a daycare that didn’t consider itself a school.

If your child is spending all or a portion of the day in daycare, wouldn’t you want their focus to be on teaching?

And if it’s a healthy, fun experience for the child, then it instills a positive association with school and learning.

Jumping into the at-home versus daycare debate is a mine field.  I know this. 

But I would argue that the fact that it’s a mine field is kind of ridiculous.

We’re all doing the best we can.  For some women, that means staying home to raise their kids.  For others, that means working and sending their kids to daycare.

Whether you’re at home full time, working full time, or somewhere in between, rather than judging others get out and make friends with people who have different circumstances than you do.  You’ll be a happier, more well-rounded person.

This article first appeared in the Lewistown News-Argus and the Sidney (Mont.) Herald on July 12, 2014.