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Today in random news…

November 18, 2020

So, apparently when I used almost an entire bottle of wood glue to repair the slanting $20 particle board bookshelf where I store my cookbooks, the glue ran down and stuck the bookshelf to the floor.

Luckily, I’m married to a beefcake who managed to break it loose. I had to use a flathead screwdriver and a hammer to chisel the leftover chunks of glue from the tile, which took pieces of the tile with it when it came off.

I really don’t think wood glue gets enough respect. It seems kind of wimpy, all beige, looking like stale school-glue. But really, if allowed to properly cure over several years, it is really, really strong stuff. Like, break the tile strong.

And my husband was able to break it, which means he’s He-Man.

We discovered my glued-the-bookshelf-to-the-floor debacle recently because we are painting our kitchen cabinets white. It looks absolutely fantastic. Except now the counter looks really old. And the window looks old. And the tile. Plus the tile has chips in it over by the cookbook shelf.

And thus begins an all too familiar tale of fixing one thing, only to realize another thing needs fixing, and another, and another, until we’ve spent all our money. The end.

In other news, my older son’s shoe size has matched his age for the past four years. Eleven years old, size 11 shoes. Twelve years old, size twelve shoes. And so on. He’s now 14. I sure hope this doesn’t continue into his 20s. Do they even make size 20 shoes? Let me google that. I’ll be right back…

Shaquille O’Neal wears size 23 shoes.

Yesterday morning my younger son said he felt really tired and sick. I suspected he was probably fine, but it is 2020, so I wasn’t sure. I told him I had meetings and appointments all morning, so he’d have to stay home by himself. He answered, “Well, I’m going to have to grow up sometime, Mom.” He’s eight.

I let him stay home, but told him absolutely no iPad, unless he had to text me to tell me the house was burning down.

When I arrived home a few hours later, there was a raging battle of army guys going on in the living room. Kid was living his best life, at home by himself on a Tuesday morning. Not sick. Boy – 1, Mom – 0.

That’s when it hit me… My younger son is Ferris Bueller.

I lost some hair last spring. Because that’s what happens to me when I’m stressed out. My hair starts falling out. And spring 2020 was awful. Like, lose-your-hair kind of awful. But I don’t need to tell you all that. You were there.

My hair is growing back now. It’s at that stage where the new growth sticks straight out from my head. Here’s a picture:

Incidentally, if I ever get arrested, this is what my mugshot would look like. I didn’t even plan the black and white stripes. I just like stripes. Deal with it.

Speaking of white stripes, during quarantine my teenager taught himself how to play Seven Nation Army on his trumpet. Do you realize how hard that is? It takes a great deal of repetition, of the same notes, over, and over, and over. And over. For weeks. I’m really proud of him.

This also explains, in part, why my hair started falling out. Did I mention I’m really proud of him?

And, that about wraps up this edition of Today In Random News. Until next time…

Copyright © 2020 Sara Beth Wald

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