Column Archive

January 21, 2017 Once upon a time there was a girl who moved away from her small hometown to seek her fortune. And she found it, more or less. Then she lost it and moved back to her hometown broken ...

August 8, 2015 Earlier this week, while walking through the backyard with my husband and younger son, I was struck by a rare flash of sentimentality. I tend to be a spit/spot type of person, a git ‘er done type ...

October 15, 2016 I have a lot of out-of-state friends whom I encourage to visit me in Montana. I find people are in two camps when faced with the prospect of a Big Sky vacation– those who have always dreamed ...

October 8, 2016 I am not by nature a dramatic person, which I used to think was some sort of character flaw. People respond to drama. If someone is making a scene, or making a statement, or crying in public, ...

October 1, 2016 I used to be a big clothes shopper. Before I had kids it was kind of my hobby. I was never a follower of designer brands. I prided myself on good deals from discount chains and fun ...

September 17, 2016 Everyone has their 9/11 story. And that story is still being written for each of us. The effects of that day are still trickling down into our lives in countless big and little ways. We are still ...

August 27, 2016 In less than two weeks my older son will turn ten. He’s asking complicated questions that catch me by surprise, and sometimes take my breath away. He wants to know about integrity, drugs and alcohol, religion, love ...

August 13, 2016 First off, I should clarify the definition of a skort for those of you fashion novices. A skort looks like a skirt, but it has shorts built in underneath. It’s a handy way to maintain your modesty ...

August 6, 2016 When my three-year-old son first came home from daycare requesting to paint his fingernails I promptly dismissed it from my mind. Not necessarily because I was morally opposed to it, but because I was busy at the ...

July 2, 2016 I learned in school that the American flag is sacred, and this was confirmed by the general population. I remember once at a sleepover watching a mother of a friend cry when she saw an image of ...

June 18, 2016 My husband and I went on a date a few weeks ago. I could tell you that we laughed and held hands and felt totally at ease with each other. I could tell you that he looked ...

June 11, 2016 I believe that life wants us to succeed. Life wants us to shine. Life wants us to feel good about who we are and what we stand for. Confidence is a good thing. Confidence is sometimes confused ...

May 21, 2016 I’m not sure I’ve read a better summary of my journey through life than these words by Edward St. Aubyn: “He knew that under the tall grass of an apparently untamed future the steel rails of fear ...

May 14, 2016 He wants to come outside with you. You point out that it is a blizzard. You show him how the snow is falling sideways. You say it will bite at his face and make it hard to ...

May 7, 2016 One of the realities of my husband’s work as a wildland firefighter is that during the warmer months when most families are taking vacations, my husband is working. Hard. And we love him for it. We love ...

April 23, 2016 Once, long ago in a land, far, far away I’d considered getting a doctorate in political science to study the damage the two-party system has done to American democracy. I had this naïve hope that if I ...

April 2, 2016 Before I had kids there were lots of things I swore I’d “never” do as a parent. Since having children my expectations of myself have evolved from guidelines of housework and dietary habits to my impact on ...

March 12, 2016 I ran into this lentil farmer I know at the grocery store about six weeks ago. By the time I was done talking to her I was not only ready to cook with lentils, I was pretty ...

February 20, 2016 Something awesome happened at my house this week, something I hope I never, ever forget as long as I live. My husband has been working out-of-town for the past few weeks, which means I’m in single mom ...

February 6, 2016 Ah, late winter – a time of hot chocolate, fluffy coats, valentines, and… celebrities congratulating themselves for being awesome. Yes, this is the time of year we have all been waiting for, when we are bombarded with ...

January 30, 2016 Several years ago an animated movie about wildland firefighters was released. My husband was working out of state on a wildfire at the time. His colleagues were hosting an event outside of the movie theater, giving out ...

January 23, 2016 If I could do an audit of my brain, I’m willing to bet the single most predominant thought over the entirety of my life has been about change. I have been obsessed with change for as long ...

January 9, 2016 The mother of a childhood friend recently asked friends and family to mail her daughter a letter describing their favorite memory of her, in honor of my friend’s 40th birthday. We haven’t seen much of each other ...

November 14, 2015 Rarely before has my family felt the truth behind the phrase “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” than we have the past few weeks. First, I got a nasty cold. Then, while I was still recovering ...

June 14, 2015 Every now and then I hear comments likening maternity or paternity leave to ‘vacation.’ You might assume these comments are made exclusively by men, but not so! Especially during my time working in academia and the corporate ...

June 13, 2015 The color red is often associated with danger, risk and wickedness. Stop signs are red to communicate the threat of life and limb if you don’t stop. According to urban legend, you are more likely to be ...

June 3, 2015 Our front door opens into a hallway that runs between the living room and the kitchen. It’s a setup in which visitors are belched into the middle of our house the moment they walk in the door ...

April 18, 2015 The toddler has reached the age where he can do it all by himself. Taking his coat off? Don’t lay a finger on that zipper!  Cleaning up a spill? Why did I even bother to bring a ...

December 27, 2014 A common refrain in my parenting is an emphasis on being caring, kind, and accountable. I was giving my nine-year-old the usual lecture recently when he shot me an irritated look and said, “But what about everyone ...

May 31, 2014 I stumble across a story online at least once a week making a huge deal about this or that celebrity appearing in public without makeup.  Why is this a headlining story?  Maybe it’s just because I’m from ...

March 30, 2013 It took me a long time to realize what true forgiveness meant. I had people in my life who led me to believe that forgiveness equaled tolerance of intolerable behavior. I thought that part of being forgiving ...

March 16, 2013 Finals week of my senior year of college was particularly brutal.  My two roommates moved out before me.  Being the last person in the apartment most of the deep cleaning fell to me.  Between studying and exit ...

November 22, 2014 I am not one of those parents who wants to be friends with my kids. I figure if they don’t hate my guts now and then I’m not doing my job. That being said, I openly admit ...

October 25, 2014 I thought my older son was picky. He went through a phase where he’d only eat chicken nuggets and corn for dinner for weeks at a time.     He’d happily eat whatever food he was offered for breakfast ...

October 18, 2014 There we sat last Sunday, my hair pasted to my head in a tight braid that I’d hastily pulled together after rushing out of the shower, my husband needing a shave and the baby with dried snot ...

September 27, 2014 Well, it’s here again, my birthday, which is fine with me. I’ve never been one to dread aging. I’ve also never been one to consider my birthday a national holiday. It’s nice if my husband remembers and ...

September 13, 2014 I have been a stay-at-home mom for the past three-and-a half months. And I’m loving it. So why have I been so unwilling to commit to the idea of being at home? Why do I feel like ...

August 16, 2014 I’ve always welcomed old age.  I’ve been eager to figure everything out, which I assumed came with old age. Old people seem wise, right? Now that I’m pushing 40, there are several things about aging that I ...

August 9, 2014 Every family has a different rite of passage to celebrate the shift from babyhood to childhood.  Some families throw a party when a child gets potty trained.  Others go out to eat at a grown up restaurant ...

August 2, 2014 Earlier this week I was at the park with my toddler.  He was jabbing a stick into the dirt, digging holes and chasing ants.  A sprinkler tick, tick, ticked a distance away in the center of the ...

July 19, 2014 Oh, to be rich and famous. There was a time when the American dream was freedom of religion and speech. Then there was a time when the American dream was indoor plumbing and a telephone. And then ...

July 5, 2014 For our summer study my women’s group decided to read and discuss the book Left to Tell by Immaculee Ilibagiza.  It is a story of the author’s survival of the Rwandan holocaust in 1994. Ms. Ilibagiza presented ...

July 12, 2014 The endless debate online and off between stay-at-home and working mothers just baffles me.  It feels like a crowd gathers around two women and everyone starts chanting “Fight! Fight! Fight!” as though we’re on a grade school ...

June 28, 2014 Our street is lined with quiet, well-maintained ranch-style homes.  People take pride in their yards and their neighborhood. Nobody on our street has said anything yet, but I have gotten some strange looks as people drive by ...

June 22, 2014 My toddler son loves animals.  Unfortunately, it appears that he has allergies. It’s probably just as well we not have animals in the house. I try to compensate by taking him for lots of walks around town.  ...

June 14, 2014 My older son was my grandpa’s first great-grandchild.  And so it was fitting that he be named after him. My grandpa actually has lots of kids named after him.  My brother and at least two of my ...

November 9, 2013 When I was growing up, a common mantra among adults was the idea that it is sometimes easier to do wrong than right, but we should do the right thing anyway. I remember this advice given a ...

July 6, 2013 My biggest regret is not living life in my 20s.  I was so focused on surviving that I forgot to really live. It isn’t like I didn’t have opportunities.  I didn’t have a child to support until ...

June 22, 2013 Our glider rocker is a mess.  It’s covered in stains and the upholstery is hanging off in strings in places.  It isn’t pretty, sitting there in the living room for the whole world to see.  But the ...

June 15, 2013 In the day-to-day grind of life, when things are hectic and chaotic, it is easy to take people for granted.  And so, here is the long overdue list of the top 20 reasons my sons and I ...

June 1, 2013 We went “camping” over Memorial Day.  Camping sans quotation marks involves no plumbing for miles, the threat of being eaten by a bear, and dehydrated meat.  “Camping” in quotation marks means going to a family-friendly campground with ...

November 10, 2012 I used to feel patriotic after voting on Election Day.  There was something reassuring and empowering about going to the polls, standing in line with my fellow Americans to determine the direction of our country. I voted ...

November 3, 2012 It is amazing how fast you start to see a personality emerge in a newborn baby.   My oldest craved his routine from the very first day.  The child has gone to sleep around 9:00 p.m. every night ...

October 20, 2012 I have long been on a quest for the proper definition of happiness. For me, the hardest part of finding contentment is first determining what it actually is. I receive daily affirmation e-mails automatically sent to my ...

October 13, 212 I have two children, and their birth stories couldn’t be more different. Only the final outcome was thankfully the same – a healthy baby. My first son was born in the urban Midwest. I have since moved ...

October 6, 2012 Dear baby Wald, When your brother was born, I wrote him a love letter just days after he arrived. There is nothing quite like the emotion a mother feels in those days and weeks after a child ...

July 21, 2012 My son, like his mother, is way too hard on himself. He wants to do everything perfect the very first time. I am all too familiar with this problem. There are so many things I wish I ...

May 12, 2012 I was so hard on myself when I was pregnant with my son. I continued to beat myself up endlessly for the first year of his life. He’s five-years-old now, and there are so many things I’ve ...

February 25, 2012 Our world isn’t perfect. There is certainly room for improvement. But there are things that I will really miss if they get replaced by something “better.” When I was in college, and then later when I moved ...

January 28, 2012 For the first time in years I didn’t watch the President’s State of the Union address. I tuned in for about two minutes of the speech. My son snuggled up next to me and begged to watch ...

January 21, 2012 I remember running amuck in the small Eastern Montana town where I grew up. In the fifth grade, I’d ride my ten-speed the two miles into town for school so I could hang out with my townie ...

December 24, 2011 In an effort to help my son realize that there is joy in giving as well as receiving, last year we started a new Christmas tradition. We took him to a store and set him loose with ...

December 3, 2011 I love reading the rural community entries in the paper. Where else but in a small town is someone's recent dental work news? Or family visiting from out of town? This is news in a small town ...

November 19, 2011 Every year around this time I try to dig deep into my heart to find all the blessings that get buried under the muck and mire of the daily grind. I try to count my blessings every ...

October 29, 2011 My son has a lot of big ideas. As much as I want to encourage his creativity, some of his plans get shot down immediately. Like the time he wanted to host a family concert in the ...

October 22, 2011 Apparently, once you reach your mid-30s you can no longer rely on youth and genetics to keep your blood pumping through your veins and your body from falling apart.  Over the course of the last year, several ...

October 15, 2011 I quit piano lessons when I was 12. Apparently, I had too many other pressing engagements. My teacher was gentle and soft spoken, with a thick German accent. Her family had fled the Holocaust when she was ...

October 8, 2011 My husband had a wonderful childhood, full of all the mischievous fun one would expect from five busy, creative brothers. We love to hear the stories of his adventures growing up. Once in a while my husband ...

September 17, 2011 My son and I waited all summer for a chance to go camping. We waited for my husband’s work to slow down. We waited for roads to be repaired and campgrounds to be reopened after the spring ...

September 3, 2011 Kids, take my word for it, some day, you’ll have a kid of your own who is smarter than you. Suddenly, at 35, the true purpose of your education will become perfectly clear. My son is desperate ...

August 27, 2011 Even though our family doesn’t yet participate in public school, I still love the excitement of a new school year. I love that the ‘seasonal’ sections of stores are filled with notebooks and school supplies. I love ...

July 9, 2011 I warned my husband repeatedly throughout our courtship and young marriage that there is a latent artist inside of me. She was sleeping, but restless. Last week, the artist awoke. I had four quarts of paint, a ...

June 25, 2011 We’ve all heard that the hard times are when you find out who your friends are. Like so many other clichés, this one didn’t truly make sense until I could apply it to my life through experience ...

May 7, 2011 What a week America had! President Obama released his full birth certificate on Wednesday, then Osama bin Laden was killed by U.S. Special Forces on Monday. We can’t assume we no longer face the threat of terrorism ...

March 12, 2011 I knew that being a wildland firefighter’s wife would have its challenges. It is nearly impossible to plan a warm-weather date night ahead of time, much less a summer family vacation, when your husband is on call ...

February 19, 2011 According to his name tag, Douglas was originally christened ‘Dangles.’ My mom and I found him at a local gift shop when I was seven months pregnant. I fell in love with him instantly. I hugged him ...

February 12, 2011 As Valentine’s Day approaches, my son is intrigued by the idea of love. It is clear to me that he is already puzzled by the girls in his class. I wish I could tell him that like ...

February 5, 2011 The past few nights, after my son is in bed, as the temperature outside dips well below zero, I find myself snuggled under a blanket on the couch. I am not usually much of a TV watcher, ...

December 11, 2010 My new husband spent a few nights on the couch our first week of marriage.  But not because we couldn’t resolve an argument.  I tested the “in sickness” part of our vows, spending our first week of ...

December 4, 2010 I moved back to my small hometown two-and-a-half years ago, a single mom seeking to rebuild my life. A friend generously offered me a job at her flooring store while I got on my feet. I muddled ...

November 6, 2010 I’m so glad this election season is over. We had a few particularly ugly races this year, both in our little town and elsewhere. More often than usual I was left feeling like I wasn’t all that ...

September 25, 2010 I come from a ranching family, but I am not a rancher. I have people in my life who love the outdoors, who treasure their right to hike and fish and hunt, but I do not personally ...

September 11, 2010 Every week I see a new article online about the trend towards downsizing your home, your car, your life.  Hummer – General Motor’s response to our desire to outsize our neighbors – was recently shut down.  The ...

August 14, 2010 I feel like I’ve had a head cold for the entire year, which isn’t actually true,  but it seems like it.  Money is tight.  Life is complicated and messy.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way ...

May 29, 2010 I wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember. Before I could write a sentence, I was drawing pictures of stories and tying the pages together with yarn. But as I neared adulthood, ...

April 16, 2010 As a writer trained in journalism, the First Amendment is very important to me.  I almost always reside on the side of free speech, even if I find the speech offensive.  As one of my favorite professors ...

March 13, 2010 I read a story recently about Karl Rabeder, an Austrian millionaire who gave away all this wealth to live in a hut in the mountains.  He was just fed up with all the hoopla.  So he donated ...

February 20, 2010 Laura Silsby is the “missionary” who was caught at the Haitian border with 33 children, trying to hurry them into the Dominican Republic where they would potentially be adopted by American families. This is not a religious ...

January 23, 2010 I ski down mountains in my living room. Every day, I am either rescued from a burning building or a tall tower in a castle guarded by a snake (not a dragon). I build the hugest houses ...

January 9, 2010 “Happy New Year” used to be a sarcastic phrase for me. This is the first year in memory in which I have not had to resolve myself to enjoy January and February. I believe that happiness is ...

January 2, 2010 Among the gifts my son received for Christmas was a magnetic cardboard guy with various magnetized outfits, reminiscent of the paper dolls I played with as a little girl.  The outfits include fireman, police officer, carpenter (or ...

November 14, 2009 My son thinks I’m the world’s greatest singer. I am also the best cook, the best maker of butterflies out of pipe cleaners, the best dancer, and the absolute very best hot glue gun operator. Kids can ...

November 7, 2009 Election Day was this week.  I barely noticed.  I love being an American, and I consider voting a privilege.  But I despise politics.  One Web definition of politics states: “social relations involving intrigue to gain authority or ...

October 31, 2009 To help my son choose what he would be for Halloween, we sat down to browse through a costume catalog. I was charmed by how carefully he examined those that interested him. “Does the spaceman come with ...

October 24, 2009 C.S. Lewis said, “You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.” There is a story in the news right now about a model who was allegedly fired from Ralph Lauren for her ...

October 11, 2009 Every once in a while, I run into my 8th grade science teacher around town. And every time I see him, I am plagued by guilt. I wonder if he remembers… I forgot to do my homework ...

September 16, 2009 When my son was born, I wrote him a letter in which I encouraged him to always “speak up, stand up, be you no matter what.” At barely three years old, I have had to gently remind ...

August 29, 2009 In the news last week: Health care reform, continued crisis in the Middle East, and… Michelle Obama’s shorts.  I get it that the role of First Lady is one to be taken seriously.  I get it that ...

August 15, 2009 My toddler son has his own house. It’s blue, with a big tree in front. Sometimes it’s easy to get to – just up the road, down the road, up the road. Sometimes it’s way far in ...

August 8, 2009 In church on Sunday, the pastor prayed for a local family recently devastated by loss. He asked that their grief be “bold, renewing, and resourceful.” What a profound prayer. Bold! Like grieving old Italian ladies in the ...

August 1, 2009 I know people who won’t get a massage. It has something to do with the fact that you have to take your clothes off and a relative stranger rubs you all over. What’s wrong with that? If ...

July 11, 2009 I have always liked the phrase, “Tread lightly.” I’ve known some heavy steppers in my life, and quite frankly, they got on my nerves. I once lived in an apartment below a heavy stepper. She also happened ...

July 4, 2009 Last weekend I was at the airport, taking a flight I wasn’t looking forward to, feeling tired and hungry at 6:30 a.m. without breakfast.  As I waited in line at security, I noticed a family saying their ...

June 21, 2009 The first sentence of a recent New York Times story read: “So what kind of teachers could a school get if it paid them $125,000 a year?”  A charter school in New York City will be trying ...

June 6, 2009 I was feeling sorry for myself today. I had so much to do. I had boring paperwork to complete and annoying phone calls to make. I had bills to pay. My kid won’t eat anything but chicken ...

May 16, 2009 There are some lessons that are universally necessary, and universally painful. We all have to learn them, and it always hurts. Why couldn’t we just be born knowing this stuff? My son learned one such lesson this ...

April 25, 2009 I was not one of those kids who played with worms. Or bugs. Or snakes. I was one of those kids who passed out in junior high science class when we dissected frogs. And yet, this week, ...

April 11, 2009 Hope is one of those words that gets overused: “I hope it doesn’t rain today,” or “I hope all this laundry fits into one load,” or “I hope I make the green light.” I probably use the ...

March 28, 2009 I took my son out to see the calves last weekend.  I have always enjoyed springtime in Montana, but never more than now, when I have a two-year-old to experience it with. What a gift it is ...

March 21, 2009 This afternoon when I arrived at my son’s daycare, I discovered my usually cheerful kid in tears. He came running into my arms instead of taking me by the hand and pulling me into whatever game he’d ...

March 14, 2009 I used to say that I wasn’t a perfectionist, because no matter how good something was, it could always be better, so to aim for perfection was selling myself short. Wow. Now there’s a recipe for an ...

March 7, 2009 Some women daydream about Brad Pitt.  For others, Hugh Jackman dominates their fantasies.  Me… my secret crush extends back to the late nineties, when I was just graduating from college and wondering how I would manage my ...

February 7, 2009 I have a blushing problem.  It starts at my chest, creeps up my neck to my ears, then spreads across my face like a passing shadow.  Except there’s nothing passing about it.  Once my face turns crimson, ...

January 17, 2009 On snowy winter mornings, I open the blinds so my two-year-old can watch me shovel the walk. Usually, he runs from window to window, waving every time I turn to check on him. But this morning when ...

January 10, 2009 Saving the world used to seem like such a great idea.  In fact, it seemed like the only option.  Here I was, young, hardworking, motivated, smart, ambitious.  Who better to fix this mess than me?  And thus, ...

January 3, 2009 A few days ago my son fell off his toy tractor.  As he fell, he let out a little toddler toot.  I scooped him up and sat him back on the tractor seat, saying “Get back on ...

December 20, 2008 I’m a proud card-carrying member of the 20 below club. Twenty below isn’t just cold.  It isn’t a turn up the thermostat a bit and throw on a sweater kind of chilly.  It isn’t even a run ...

December 6, 2008 The Victoria’s Secret fashion show was on TV this week.  I tripped over it while flipping through the channels after finishing my weekly run of laundry.  All I could think when I saw those nearly naked models ...

November 22, 2008 I am by nature a modest person.  Puritanical, really…  I’m sure every parent says something now and then to their children that they never imagined they’d utter to another human being.  There’s the absurd: “Okay, I’ll stand ...

November 15, 2008 A few weeks back, there was a story in “The Washington Post” written by Wil Haygood about Central Montana’s perception of black people, in light of the upcoming Presidential election. The story is typical of what is ...

November 8, 2008 I believe that love is a living thing. It is born, it evolves and grows, and sometimes it dies (but not usually). And I believe that there are as many different kinds of love in the world ...

November 1, 2008 Election years have always entertained me. I love to watch my friends and family get all fired up, along with the rest of the country. One of my good friends has trained her 17-month-old to cheer “Bama!” ...

October 25, 2008 When my cousin’s wife asked me if I’d like to come out to the ranch to pick chokecherries, I thought it was a great idea.  It suited perfectly my goal to connect with my ranching roots.  I ...

October 18, 2008 I love hands. They are the most telling feature of a person, aside from the eyes. By looking at someone’s hands you can determine how much life they’ve lived, what sorts of jobs they’ve had, what their ...

October 4, 2008 This title is misleading.  I’ve never driven a tractor, in high heels or otherwise.  But I might!  Like so many young people who grew up in a small town, after college I left home to explore the ...